they ask me: what pains are you suffering from?
i reply:
me,
the only pain!
++++++
to farsak:
...and it's like loving someone when you know you shouldn't and you can't!!
ainp

i feel i'm living another person's life...
i don't want it to be this way,
i don't! anita

i wish i could just puke all my thoughts...to feel relieved a bit at least!! ainp

thanks to all your sympathies and concerns... sorry but i feel so down these days.
i am transforming
metamorphesing
to what?
i don't know...
to some other person
no matter if to a dorky fuddy-duddy geek with a happy-go-lucky manner
i'm sick of being what i've been so far... anita

i hate my destiny. i hate my destiny. i hate my destiny. i hate my destiny that i can't change. i hate me. damn life. fuck everything.